Mah Blog Bitches

arandomwhitedude:

i feel like if a girl touches your dick you should be nice to her and make her laugh and do cool things for her besides rub her clit. like hey lets go to the aquarium cuz thanks for puttin my balls in your mouth

considerablybigben:

*puts down capri sun* i am ready for a sex

bahbumplug:

when u put on a song u like at a party that no one knows

image

pattylomein:

gallifrey-feels:

zzazu:

britney2007spears:

joebarborak:

thepurdypurdy:

THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN LAST WEEK AT MY LOCAL KMART. YES, THAT IS A SEALED VHS TAPE OF JIMMY NEUTRON THE MOVIE, IN 2014, AT KMART, SITTING NEXT TO DVDS AND BLU-RAYS, PRICED AT $8.99 

To give perspective, this film was released on VHS in 2002 and has been sitting unopened in a Kmart store for 12 years, longer than children now in middle school. 

Plain proof that no one does inventory or gives a shit at any Kmart anywhere. Someone could probably live in Kmart and have no one notice. 

In 2001, I did an experiment for school about the idea of living in a big-box store like this. I selected a busy 24hr Meijer, which is a midwest-only combination of Marts both K and Wal. I entered the store on a lovely friday afternoon, and didn’t leave the store until the following sunday evening. I read the entire magazine section, played all of the demos of the games in the electronics section, and beat minesweeper on my phone innumerable times. I ate at the pizza parlour they’d just installed, and slept on the display furniture. I wandered around the racks during the day, bored out of my skull. I considered buying frozen burritos and asking one of the employees if they had a breakroom where I could microwave them, but that felt like it wouldn’t truly answer the question if someone could live in a Meijer; I’d be using resources that weren’t public.

The only time I was ever asked if I needed any help was on sunday morning around 8am, and then it was only waking me up to ask me if I was drunk and had wandered in that night and fell asleep on their displays. I said, “no, I’m fine, I’m just trying this futon.” and was left alone.

The people that work there really don’t care.

u lived in a k-mart

This is the most magical thing I’ve ever had the privilege of reading

you deserve a book deal and a movie just for the phrase ‘marts both k and wal’ 

Magical

*eats you out as a friend*

chiefsimba:

iknownothingisalliknow:

revitiligo:

thepoetspace:

amerikkkanpie:

Blows your back out as your homie

Gotchu walkin funny as a testament to our friendship.

makes you cum in the spirit of comradery

Got ur legs on my shoulders to show u how deep our friendship is

hits it from the back to let you know im here for you



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